My Kryptonite

I don’t eat fruit. Can’t won’t don’t do it.

And I keep this a secret. Why? Try telling people you hate kittens. Or ice cream. There’s the blank stare, the doubt, “but what about strawberries?” Yes. I hate strawberries. I won’t go near pear, I detest banana. Even sweet little guavas. Even perfectly proportioned peaches. Even that innocuous avocado wobbling on the counter top, fuliguline and faltering. Even that glistening apple cut crisp with a blade. Vomit.

Hey, I don’t mind rabbit-food: I’ll eat carrots, broccoli and tomato. I’ll even drink juice to keep the scurvy at bay, but fruit? Something -everything- inside me screams “don’t do it!”

Oh, they can bloviate on the “goodness” and “healthiness” of fruit, but I know that is not true. Not for me.  Would you question a vegetarian? (“Oh go on, I’ll scrape the meat off…”) Would you tease or trick them? (“Ha, we’ll sneak  some meat in…”) This is my socially unacceptable phobia. My horror. My kryptonite.

And I must stay strong in the face of doubt. Persistent and unyielding.


Because while it means annoying waiters with endless menu dissection (“are you sure it doesn’t have fruit in / on / around / beside it?”)… it is all worth it for one of my favorite things in the whole world: a triple-deckered, whipped-cream-wearing, chopped-nut-sprinkle-dusted, wafer-sporting, utterly fruitless, chocolate hot fudge sundae (as big as my head).

…After 🙂

Okay…I’ll admit it, something here isn’t strictly true… Can you guess?

Answer: here

First Crusader Challenge
300 words or less:

• one secret
• one lie
• one interesting quirk
• one annoying habit
• one of your best character traits, and
• one of your favourite things in the whole world.

And must include the random words, “bloviate,” “fuliguline,” “rabbit,” and “blade”.

Keep kicking ass!

16 Responses

  1. Thanks for all the comments and guesses – I am so happy to hear that there are other people who feel like I do about fruit… (I can’t believe you think I’d lie about something this huge *wink*)

  2. But wait, isn’t a tomato actually a fruit?? Lol! It’s never made sense to me though, it isn’t a sweet and freaking delicious as fruit;)Ok, you have to like at least one fruit, that has to be the lie. *says in a questioning tone* You’re very convincing, I really don’t know!

  3. Hello fellow crusader! I am a tad bit late, the whole house has been sick all week. So, I just thought I would pop in and just say Hi! 😀

    I’m going to have to go with you changed meat to fruit! 😀

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