I don’t eat fruit. Can’t won’t don’t do it.
And I keep this a secret. Why? Try telling people you hate kittens. Or ice cream. There’s the blank stare, the doubt, “but what about strawberries?” Yes. I hate strawberries. I won’t go near pear, I detest banana. Even sweet little guavas. Even perfectly proportioned peaches. Even that innocuous avocado wobbling on the counter top, fuliguline and faltering. Even that glistening apple cut crisp with a blade. Vomit.
Hey, I don’t mind rabbit-food: I’ll eat carrots, broccoli and tomato. I’ll even drink juice to keep the scurvy at bay, but fruit? Something -everything- inside me screams “don’t do it!”
Oh, they can bloviate on the “goodness” and “healthiness” of fruit, but I know that is not true. Not for me. Would you question a vegetarian? (“Oh go on, I’ll scrape the meat off…”) Would you tease or trick them? (“Ha, we’ll sneak some meat in…”) This is my socially unacceptable phobia. My horror. My kryptonite.
And I must stay strong in the face of doubt. Persistent and unyielding.
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| Before… |
Because while it means annoying waiters with endless menu dissection (“are you sure it doesn’t have fruit in / on / around / beside it?”)… it is all worth it for one of my favorite things in the whole world: a triple-deckered, whipped-cream-wearing, chopped-nut-sprinkle-dusted, wafer-sporting, utterly fruitless, chocolate hot fudge sundae (as big as my head).
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| …After 🙂 |
Okay…I’ll admit it, something here isn’t strictly true… Can you guess?
Answer: here
***
First Crusader Challenge
300 words or less:
• one secret
• one lie
• one interesting quirk
• one annoying habit
• one of your best character traits, and
• one of your favourite things in the whole world.
And must include the random words, “bloviate,” “fuliguline,” “rabbit,” and “blade”.
Keep kicking ass!
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16 Responses
Thanks for all the comments and guesses – I am so happy to hear that there are other people who feel like I do about fruit… (I can’t believe you think I’d lie about something this huge *wink*)
Hi from a new follower on the crusade. I like how you did the fugiline and faltering with the avocado! Actually I have met other people with a deep fear of fruit, too. Never heard it called krytonite before!
But wait, isn’t a tomato actually a fruit?? Lol! It’s never made sense to me though, it isn’t a sweet and freaking delicious as fruit;)Ok, you have to like at least one fruit, that has to be the lie. *says in a questioning tone* You’re very convincing, I really don’t know!
I’m going with the fruit. I think you love it really 🙂
Pleased to meet you, crusader.
I would have to guess that you also don’t eat veggies, but I’m just not sure. Hmmm…
Hey- WOW I am so believing your convincing portrayal as a fruit-hater, I just don’t know what the lie could be. That you don’t eat rabbit food?
great post!
I’m going with you don’t really like broccoli.
New follower and fellow crusader! Nice to meet you!
Hello fellow crusader! I am a tad bit late, the whole house has been sick all week. So, I just thought I would pop in and just say Hi! 😀
I’m going to have to go with you changed meat to fruit! 😀
I wouldn’t dismiss the fruit thing but aren’t tomatoes technically a fruit as well?
How don’t dislike all fruit? I’ll go with that. 🙂
I accept your hatred of fruit, what I don’t accept is your lie about hassling the waiters to get fruit-free dishes. Like it’s difficult to avoid a banana. 🙂
Awesome entry, I like the pictures at the end!
I accept the fruit phobia. I have a friend who is the same. But ice cream? No way! See you around.
I think your telling the truth about fruit but… except that I spy some red juice on your sundae cup. That may mean you are lying about either fruit or at least strawberries.
Hmmm….great entry. I have no idea what is the lie. I’d say the fruit bit, but you seem so adamant.
Nice. Fruit: lie? Hmm. I’m a fellow crusader and new follower. Nice to meet you.
I’d guess this fruit thing was a lie, except I’m not that big on fruit myself. It’s not that I hate it, I just prefer it to be cooked with sugar and pastry.
I guess you love strawberries!