The After.

I’m coming out of the haze. I’m sleeping hard and often, I’m sick. I’m scared and I’m proud. That. Actually. Happened. That thing where I spoke at a sold out TEDx event and people laughed and they cried. Where I got called something that I’ve never been called and can barely process: powerful. I knew it would be epic.  But I didn’t know it would be like that. 

It wasn’t like regular speaking. Well, it was at first: it was working, planning, writing, sculpting, tweaking, practising. It was making cue cards, getting feedback, checking references. But then it was more than that… It was making the decision and being okay with the consequences. It was breaking open my chest and scooping out my insides. It was knowing the content verbatim and then letting it go, being present, and trusting that something bigger than me was always in charge.

I’m grateful for the TEDx team who chose me, trusted me, and supported me when I was six kinds of crazy (which is like, twice as much as usual:)). I don’t know which scares me more: the overwhelm or certainty I’m already feeling from the audience feedback.

I’m stoked you guys are here with me (I’ll be a zombie for two weeks, but I’m super cool about that now*). You never really know what will happen when you put yourself out there, but how else do you find your people?

*I am not even a little bit cool about that.
**Okay, I am a tiny bit cool about that. Just enough to get that fighting it makes it worse.
Zombie-me makes out-there me possible. And I will try to be grateful for that, too.